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12-22-09
Obvious Info;Bad-ass picture editing is just a click away(:
Christmas is just three days away. Being a teenager; I simply enjoy celebrating Christ's birthday more than I did a decade ago.(:Let me explain myself to those who don't understand:Well, yes, the gifts are the cherry on top of the holiday; just like rough sex is in a relationship. But it's the joy of giving, just like causing your partner's extended climax and powerful orgasm.(: [Yes, I enjoy using sex relations for ironically related subjects. But back to the explanation.]Giving is better than receiving. Yes, receiving's nice, but causing that smile on a loved ones face is priceless. Better than a Hallmark moment.Three more days 'till Christmas! My father also is a blogger. You may know him as the creator of Moopig Wisdom. His most recent blog was the "10 Days Of Christmas". Well, something along the lines of that.He has a very crude sense of humor, mixed well with mid 20th century humor. Exciting, huh?? Haha.Well; here's MY 12 days of Christmas:

1. "On The First Day Of Christmas, My Butt Pirate Sent To Me; A Ticket To New Orleans.
2. On The Second Day Of Christmas, My Mother Gave To Me; Two Anal Plugs And A Round Trip To The Queens.
3. On The Third Day Of Christmas, My Dealer Gave To Me; Three Fat Suites, Two Enormous Studded Plugs, And A Fucking Trip To Ghetto Ass Orleans.
4. On The Fourth Day Of Christmas, My Doctor Gave To Me; Four Bottles Of Xanax, Three Sticky Suites, Two Ass Stoppers, And A Ticket To, Man Fuck That Shit.
5. On The Fifth Day Of Christmas, I Gave Myself Away To An Ass Clogger & A Cheap Hooker In Louisville. Those Suites Fucked Me Up After Popping Ten Bars, And I Received A Felon-eeeeee-eeeee.
6. On..The..Sixth...Day....Of...Christmas, My Girlfriend Gave To Me, Five Gold Condoms, And The Rest Of The Shit Is Already Gone.
7. On The Seventh Damn Day Of Christmas, I Asked God For These; No More Days Of Christmas, Anal Reconstruction, A Cure For Herpes, And The Morning After Pill.
8. The Eighth Day Of Christmas, Didn't Exist For Meeeee! But I Did Get Rid Of The Damn Pear Tree, Doves That Infested It, All The Other Damn Anti Christs They Call 'Birds', Maids Ladies And Pipers, The Five False Gold Rings, And That Annoying ADHD Kid That Calls Himself A Drummer."

So There You Have It.(:



My mother told me to write a letter to Santa, requesting the presents I desired. Well, with me being me, a whacked out over-stimulated teen, I wrote something Santa would NOT improve of.(:I have it written down on a flimsy piece of notebook paper, but with me being me (once again) I kinda, 'misplaced it.' Maybe Fred used it to wipe his ass.. :)
But I can recall how some of it went. Don't judge me(: I am.. Unique.
Dear Santa; Oh how I yearn for these gifts that I ask for[?]Oh how I wish to be pleased.Please give these gifts to me(:
I wish to escape to the Netherlands.I would fall in love with a Leprechaun.We would have Ogre babies and roaches for pets.
I'll come home to Texas to see Mom & Pops,We'll sit along the bomb fire;and listen to Bob Marley.
Santa, please put a keg of Faygo under the tree,and don't forget the blow up doll for Guy!
Oh Santa, could you bring the dead back to life??I would love to gag the Oxy Clean Man, And make love to Heath Ledger.
I'll leave a bottle of Jack on the table,And a bag of Funions and Condoms.
Santa baby, you can come down my chimney Any Night ;)
Love,Froggy<3

Merry Christmas Fuckkers(: