i|me|her: a conversation with us [1]

This hole is so terribly deep.
I finally crawled out of it, two months ago, JUST to be thrown back in:
Harder-
I was pushed down, deeper than my grave.
Dirt is clogging my lungs.
Can anyone reach me?
When will this endless cycle decide to come to an equilibrium?
The whiplash is leaving my neck on a strand.
UPDOWNUPDOWN
Yeah, try being there!
All I wanted was something HEALTHY to hold.
And all I had to hold onto was ripped away.
I want to be angry, I want to be violent.
I want to be promiscuous, I want to be comatose.

Calm down, Brain.
You need to be sane.

Sanity, you say?

That's not possible in this brain!

You should know this by now.

You've been burned with a curse!

A curse you say?

I know it is more than that!

Or do I? Do I know anything, these days?

Does anybody know, for me?

Do all the sides of Me know of this?

I DO NOT

SHE DOES NOT

NOPE, NOT ME

Will the cycles ever end?

You already asked that, dear.

Well, is there an answer?

The possibilities are endless, honey.

Possibilities, really?! I'm STUCK! 

When will the "possibilities" cease,

and when will i|me|her receive the answer?

Nevermore dear, nevermore.

Well, that's just fucking fantastic.

|DMCDerp|April28,2013|

Dorky Deygo: Desiree Marie-Cay Ruggiero Darnell on her 14th

Dorky Deygo: Desiree Marie-Cay Ruggiero Darnell on her 14th

There’s a limit to your love; A few of my favorite things

Tequila Rose and white Moscatto

The hint of cigarettes on his whiskey breath

The roar of his Harley between my legs

The itch of whiskers upon my face

THESE are a few of my favorite things.

He appeared, with neither of us knowing what our future held.

Never had I known the odds of coincidence could later collide.

I let him into my life, not knowing how much he would eventually provide:

Trust with my vulnerability

Trust with my safety

Trust with unfamiliarity

Trust with a ride

My mind was not prepared to lose such an amazing image.

My heart is nothing but a silhouette of what was once there.

Never have I had so much light overwhelm my life.

I cannot thank him enough for showing me happiness can be received innocently.

Desiree Darnell|DmcD|April21,2013

In-Dubiously

..Is a hilarious word. Along with:

Periwinkle Drizzle Dribble Kawasaki Recipe Alamo Pudding 

Them

Take it into realization pretty lady, you’re his lust, not his need. You’re her, yes, HER wet dream, not her companion. The subjects in life we yearn for come when least wanted. They come around when the time is wrong. When she is wrong. She can’t be happy. She doesn’t know what she wants. She refuses those in life she needs. She needs God. He needs God. We need God. Yesterdays sex talk is today’s pregnancy. Yesterdays over dosage of heroin is today’s Organic Brain Disease. Today’s choice of events effects the next century’s morality and mortality rates. Yes, the simple things in life are not hard to find. They’re right there in your damn face. Life we have in this present day is near to perfect. Look at how far human kind has come. Look how shortly it’s taking for us to self-destruct our God given rights!! What is going to happen when there is nothing but suffrage left? Yes, here I am sitting and typing this. Yes, there you are sitting in hysteria rolling your eyes as you skim through this. Here I am to tell you, the World, our Universe that is so perfect; that we must stop and stare back at the sky before we head our individual ways. To stop and smell the roses before they wither and die, not unlike you and me. Because after the path we follow half blind amongst the rose pedals we chose to neglect, we will all meet again one day. It is promised. Amen.

God will reach out to us in many ways. Watching faith of the almighty growing in me is unexplainable to even myself. To harm others and yourself is bad enough as it seems. So why harm Him?
Of course... This is me rambling on once again. But God shows his face [love] in the most obvious, yet mysterious ways. As my mother, Marinella, says; He will not place anything in your way that you cannot handle.
I believe in the same aspect.

A discussion taken place previously was how He feels when we measure up to Him. The truth is, that we cannot even come close to measuring up, simply because you can't. God doesn't point out and laugh at our flaws. He chisels at them to make perfection. He is the one and only creator after all. He expects us to stubble across temptations and impulses. He made other humans to interact with us and occupy our lives as a test.. And a gift. The love we have for materialistic objects will cease to an end. Yet the love we have for other equals will last throughout ones eternity. Those that we love will be left behind after the second coming of Jesus Christ, only in physical form. Their souls will ascend to heaven with us. That is my belief.
God is preparing humanity for their ultimate praise. This life on earth is just the beginning. Heaven is the ultimate prize for making it out of this pregiven life. Heaven is just a life away! Can you believe it?! It makes my heart scream for joy just knowing how God is appreciative of me making it through another day!
What makes God himself weep is the fact that He himself is being denied out of shame and ignorance.
The world as we know it is ridding it's live for The Almighty. We will soon live in a world of Revelation. This is a nightmare.
I pray for whomever refuses to let God in. For those who fear God instead of loving Him. I pray for those whom need Him in their lives. I pray for the sick. I pray for the twisted. I pray for all who need You, dear Lord. Amen


I am the one saying these words, and this is me voicing my beliefs.

Body Spasms And Organic Bars

Tears Pour Out Of The Sky:

Nourishing the novelties of nature. Life, love, and torture. Thy must suffer to earn. 

Life is beautiful. Personalities are brutal. 

Friends hate, and families unite.

Solar filled days bring successful dehydration.

-Desiree Darnell-

Blah Blah Blah.

Wednesday afternoon slowly slurping along.

Room decor and helicopters.

Kids revolve around my life. I have to be there for them. 

Friendships erupt before they die. 

The kind that poison you.

Friendships can be related to cherry blossoms;

Absolutely gorgeous, and take an eternity to bloom.

Blah Blah Blah.

Talk Talk Talk.

Vent Vent Vent.

What's there to discuss??

The weather?

-Which is wretched in my opinion.

Personal adventures?
-Chatting, flirting, splurging, and monitoring.
Monitoring what?
-Youths of the nation. Making sure there are no
scraped knees, no hitting, spitting, biting, or fighting.






(Originally written many of days ago)

Marley deserves to be in the oasis of his mentality. I'll see you in the afterlife.

Simplicity proves strong points. Because of refusing matters

 of disbelief caused him to be determined to prove his point.

Both were imprisoned for their ways.
 Both will forever be free within their minds and souls

Five In The Morning..

"Individuality and Spirituality are a conception that needs to be considered."
-Desiree Darnell.

"Enjoy the love while you can inhabit it, those whom possess the passion may not keep towards it.."
-Desiree Darnell

"Elope into death whilst the damage has begun."
-Desiree Darnell

"Peace is to war as love is to hate. War is love of power and passionate envy. Hate kills off the war causing internal peace."
-Desiree Darnell

"Spurts of impulse conquer your alternate reality of clinical sobriety."
-Desiree Darnell
________________________________________________________________________________________

Abstinence isn't necessarily based around sexual desire. It's based on refusing to give into humane passions.

Thank You, Julian And Frankie..

Julian: Man, animal nor plant could ever thrive in weather as such :(

Desiree: Next month a blizzard shall storm through, while unicorns will prance in the oasis of the damned...

Julian: All whilst hailing frozen tar balls from the gulf.

Desiree: While solar winds scorch the non-existent plains of the north, incinerating what's left of the faulty architecture and behavior that inhabits the structure.

-Conversation referring to Texas and northern America-

....

Desiree: Why so? Because I am the goddess of lust and you are the son of Jesus' flaunts. He does envy the gorgeous souls after all, the Devil that is. For [we] draw more appreciation and praise, not to mention envy, than he.

Julian: Live like an Angel, die like a Devil... :)

-Conversation referring to religion-

....

Frankie: If there is one thing I know birds of a feather flock together, I have no fucking feathers, I never met anyone like me' mother, said I was raised a Leader.

Desiree: If we had feathers than the ozone would favor human kind and the Earth and Moon would smile back upon us.

Desiree: Did you know that we do feed back the Earth we take advantage of? From the Earth we return our minds and outer shells, we decompose, feeding the Earth the knowledge it needs to better itself.
-Continuous thoughts-

Desiree: But our burial ritual without the coffins or incinerations will cause waste to the living humans. The wood decomposes with the body. Decreasing the plauge, while increasing the quality of nutrients for those whom will thrive off of [us].

Timeline Of The Half Year

Six months until a new year. Add a few more months to that and my brother will be wedded to an amazing fiance.
January- The beginning of the year. The end of first semester of Sophomore year.
February- Great parties and horrible love life.
March- Attack Attack! & Sadies
April- 420
May- Final semester
June- Great summer start!

"I acknowledge the privilege of being alive in a human body at this moment, endowed with senses, memories, emotions, thoughts, and the space of mind in its wisdom aspect." -Alex Grey 

I Here By Say-

The World Is Slowly;
At its end. People are restlessly growing dumber and dumber. Drama scenes and fake eyelashes. People who can't speak up without the internet. Myspace whores and mall addicts. What's the point?
This town is all about the Twelfth Man and scholars. We are a college town, not a walkway to the un-dead. What is happening?
Will my peers grow out of this stage? Will they be infernally lost to their sins and addictions? What's the point of causing hell, when you forbid to acknowledge the fact it will come back to you when you're trying to make ends meet?
Am I the only one who wants to make something out of my life with my knowledge? I'm not gonna sell myself short like all the others. I have a purpose. Does anyone else?
One day you will have to grow up. One day you will have to decide when you need to shape things up. One day you'll have to realize the shit you do now, will have you in a clasp so tight you'll suffocate before you get out.
Immature youths have it good now, but what happens in the end? Will you be a washed out whore, or will you be happy with what you have done? Will you be grateful for building your own creations, or be grateful for destructing others' dreams?
I wish people will end their biased ways.. It's so miserable! Just to live a life like that. It tore me apart to shreds, and I'm still on my path to recovery.
Ghandi was shot for his beliefs in bettering society. Marley spoke words of pure love. Lennon's music enchanted millions by grasping their hearts by the meanings of a happier world.
Why must humanity revolve around hatred?

"To bare our souls is all we ask, to give all we have to life and the beings surrounding us. Here the nature spirits are intense and we appreciate them, make offerings to them - these nature spirits who call us here - sealing our fate with each other, celebrating our love."  -Alex Grey

My Annabel Lee

So apparently an epic thunderstorm came crashing down early this morning.. I thought it was part of a ritualistic dream. These past days I've had insane dreams repeating themselves; a different perspective of a person from the same dream.. It's driving me slowly insane.

I suppose you can call her my Annabel Lee. She haunts me in my dreams. My first love. My absolute everything. I don't know why I always hurt her..

She's the lightning that strikes my heart in my subconsciousness. Her kisses spark electric currents through my body. Alluring my mind into making love possible in every way.

I love you.

&♥;

12-22-09
Obvious Info;Bad-ass picture editing is just a click away(:
Christmas is just three days away. Being a teenager; I simply enjoy celebrating Christ's birthday more than I did a decade ago.(:Let me explain myself to those who don't understand:Well, yes, the gifts are the cherry on top of the holiday; just like rough sex is in a relationship. But it's the joy of giving, just like causing your partner's extended climax and powerful orgasm.(: [Yes, I enjoy using sex relations for ironically related subjects. But back to the explanation.]Giving is better than receiving. Yes, receiving's nice, but causing that smile on a loved ones face is priceless. Better than a Hallmark moment.Three more days 'till Christmas! My father also is a blogger. You may know him as the creator of Moopig Wisdom. His most recent blog was the "10 Days Of Christmas". Well, something along the lines of that.He has a very crude sense of humor, mixed well with mid 20th century humor. Exciting, huh?? Haha.Well; here's MY 12 days of Christmas:

1. "On The First Day Of Christmas, My Butt Pirate Sent To Me; A Ticket To New Orleans.
2. On The Second Day Of Christmas, My Mother Gave To Me; Two Anal Plugs And A Round Trip To The Queens.
3. On The Third Day Of Christmas, My Dealer Gave To Me; Three Fat Suites, Two Enormous Studded Plugs, And A Fucking Trip To Ghetto Ass Orleans.
4. On The Fourth Day Of Christmas, My Doctor Gave To Me; Four Bottles Of Xanax, Three Sticky Suites, Two Ass Stoppers, And A Ticket To, Man Fuck That Shit.
5. On The Fifth Day Of Christmas, I Gave Myself Away To An Ass Clogger & A Cheap Hooker In Louisville. Those Suites Fucked Me Up After Popping Ten Bars, And I Received A Felon-eeeeee-eeeee.
6. On..The..Sixth...Day....Of...Christmas, My Girlfriend Gave To Me, Five Gold Condoms, And The Rest Of The Shit Is Already Gone.
7. On The Seventh Damn Day Of Christmas, I Asked God For These; No More Days Of Christmas, Anal Reconstruction, A Cure For Herpes, And The Morning After Pill.
8. The Eighth Day Of Christmas, Didn't Exist For Meeeee! But I Did Get Rid Of The Damn Pear Tree, Doves That Infested It, All The Other Damn Anti Christs They Call 'Birds', Maids Ladies And Pipers, The Five False Gold Rings, And That Annoying ADHD Kid That Calls Himself A Drummer."

So There You Have It.(:



My mother told me to write a letter to Santa, requesting the presents I desired. Well, with me being me, a whacked out over-stimulated teen, I wrote something Santa would NOT improve of.(:I have it written down on a flimsy piece of notebook paper, but with me being me (once again) I kinda, 'misplaced it.' Maybe Fred used it to wipe his ass.. :)
But I can recall how some of it went. Don't judge me(: I am.. Unique.
Dear Santa; Oh how I yearn for these gifts that I ask for[?]Oh how I wish to be pleased.Please give these gifts to me(:
I wish to escape to the Netherlands.I would fall in love with a Leprechaun.We would have Ogre babies and roaches for pets.
I'll come home to Texas to see Mom & Pops,We'll sit along the bomb fire;and listen to Bob Marley.
Santa, please put a keg of Faygo under the tree,and don't forget the blow up doll for Guy!
Oh Santa, could you bring the dead back to life??I would love to gag the Oxy Clean Man, And make love to Heath Ledger.
I'll leave a bottle of Jack on the table,And a bag of Funions and Condoms.
Santa baby, you can come down my chimney Any Night ;)
Love,Froggy<3

Merry Christmas Fuckkers(: